Most of the close people with me know about this. And I am sill trying to decide.tak.. more to gain persetujuan from my family about it.
Its either staying here in UM or back to UITM
Thats a really huge dilemma in my life. Its not like the Us berebut2 nakkan aku.. tak.. aku just.. nak apply balik for UiTM.. or maybe if UiTM tak dapat, I'll aplly for UKM. Anywhere but here.
Why? ramai orang tanya aku.. I dont know. Maybe sebab.. the environment is really... not like what I had expected. Seriously, I can endure it. But for 4 years. Maybe not.
The college life is great. Well. Its half of good. not that bad. With my 'crazy yet innocent' roommates and seniors that I met on some events. But thats all about it. The thing is, tujuan aku untuk masuk U is to study, right? so, sebaik mana pun kolej aku, if I couldnt study and ended up repeat the whole year, its better for me to gave up and start fresh somewhere.
Senang cakap macam tu la. Seriously, for the whole time I am in the fac, there's no genuine laugh or even smile from me. Bila keluar from the place last friday, baru aku dapat ketawa, and nangis as hard as I could. Macam lifeless tahu tak? Emotionless
And they said I should concentrate on my studies. Yeah, right. If I stay like this, by the end of the year, I'll ended up being kicked out of the fac, I tell you.
Aku rasa maybe sebab.. aku memang tak ada hati kat sini kot. Aku tak tau apa silapnya. Nak kata rupa fac tu... aku rasa syukur sangat sebab libray dekat gila, tak da tangga bertingkat2 mcm stairs of justice kat UiTM tu. maybe people around me and the system kot.
Tu yang buat aku tawar hati, Orang kata,
'lek arh... baru 3 minggu kot ko kat sana.. cepat gila ko buat assumption..' well... aku diam je kot kalau orang cakap mcm ni.. dah 3 minggu weh.. nak tunggu sampai bila lagi? sampai exam? biar aku stuck kat tengah2 hall tu sebab aku tak tau apa yang aku blajar the whole sem ni? thanks a lot guys.
Mesti orang kata,
'masalah ko la, sape suh ko tak study btol2..' then, let me go, let I choose my way of life. Let me try to apply the UiTM for my own sake. or anywhere but here.
Everytime, aku rasa nak campak semua barang aku kat orang yang lalu lalang, and lari dari tempat tu. so, elakkan diri dari bertemu ngan aku. aku tak kacau kau, kau jangan kacau aku.
owh, haah. pastu abang aku ada cakap, kalau environment ni pun kau x leh handle, apa lagi masa ko masuk kerja nanti. my response to that is, I know, to give my out most when I needed to. if aku dah kerja, tak kan aku nak kena buang kot... if I have no choice, I'll give whatever it takes. and for now, I still have the choice.
jalan tu dah ada, korang kena make way for me to pass through je. that is all.
still missing bebudak gila kelas F. wish I could bring the whole lot to UM.. so that we;ll be successful together.
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